How Much is Half of 8?

Teacher: “How much is half of 8?”

Little Johnny: “Up and down or across?”

Teacher: “What do you mean?”

Little Johnny: “Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!”

After writing a simple equation on the board the teacher asked if anyone could solve the problem.

Little Johnny walked up to the board, erased it and said,

“Problem Solved.”

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class.

Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?

Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.

Teacher: Wow! What a choice… Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?

Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.

A science teacher asked her students

“Children, if you could own one material, what would it be?”

One girl said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”

One boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”

The teacher said, “Little Johnny, What would you want?”

Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”

“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher

“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”